TOW #23 - Moral Bucket List

About once a month I run across a person who radiates an inner light…

I’ve achieved a decent level of career success, but I have not achieved that. I have not achieved that generosity of spirit, or that depth of character…

I realized that I wanted to be a bit more like those people... I was going to have to work harder to save my own soul.

     This year-old New York Times article from David Brooks is about people who "radiate an inner light" (the people we wish we could always be around and wish we were). Brooks provides a "moral bucket list" of things to do in order to acquire that sort of character. The article likely has one of the following three effects on readers: 1) It's life-changing. 2) It's abstract and completely boring. 3) It's initially thought-provoking but ultimately fades into the background after a few days, if not a few minutes.

     The third one is likely the most common, because the ideas makes perfect sense, but to carry them out requires substantial dedication and effort. In a world where the norm is "a self-satisfied moral mediocrity… You figure as long as you are not obviously hurting anybody and people seem to like you, you must be O.K.," many people don't see the point of expending extra energy to love those who hate them. Yet that kind of selflessness and spirit to serve is exactly what is required to build a character that shines. Some people find it easier than others - to forgive, to sacrifice, to smile instead of scream. Even so, it is a lifelong process for anyone: as Brooks writes, "wonderful people are made, not born."

     Unfortunately, it is true that "our culture and our educational systems spend more time teaching the skills and strategies you need for career success than the qualities you need to radiate that sort of inner light. Many of us are clearer on how to build an external career than on how to build inner character." Though I certainly have some teachers who aim to teach more than just facts, school remains an institution where kids are prepared for the career- and material success-related aspects of their futures. Schools do not offer classes on the concepts of selflessness and humility. They do encourage independence and tell us to follow your dreams. These fundamentally are not negative ideas; however, they forward what Brooks calls "a vision of life that begins with self and ends with self." He suggests that instead of building our lives around our own goals and desires in life, we step back and consider, "what is life asking of me? How can I match my intrinsic talent with one of the world’s deep needs?"

     It's not the first time we've heard about the importance of morality and spirituality. But every other time, the recommended process is deep self-reflection and self-reconstruction and self-motivation and self-satisfaction. Since that doesn't seem to be working, maybe we can finally realize that we should just stop thinking so much about ourselves. Instead, we can focus our energy on others. Derive energy and motivation from loving others, serving others, making others happy. Yes, your own happiness is important. Yes, you should take some time to self-reflect. But if you cannot let go of your self, that inner light will never grow beyond a dim flicker. That inner light is not a bulb to be flicked on, in hopes that it will make us brighter or attract others to us; it is slowly and steadily fueled by exchanges of love and sacrifice, tears and laughter, conversations and experiences.

     Should schools teach these things? Maybe, though I don't see framing it into a curriculum as being most effective. Honestly, the simplest way is to teach by doing - specifically, by kids encouraging this attitude and these actions among themselves.

     This sort of mindset will not make all of the world's problems disappear. The changed attitude of one person will not butterfly into world peace overnight. But if you are someone who hopes to someday shine an inner light, you can start by thinking in terms of everyone around you, not thinking of the whole world in terms of your self.